Winx Club, Filthyfrank to the rescue!
by Soulwars1998
Summary: When all hope seems lost, Faragonda turns to one unlikely hero...
1. Chapter 1

It was a quiet afternoon in Gardenia. Everyone was ready to go to their respective homes, or doing some late-night shopping. Everyone was quite happy, even though the city had been attacked by monsters several times in the past. Of course the city was protected by a few of the most powerful fairies in the entire magical universe. The Winx they called themselves. They saved the Earth many times from destruction, and probably will.

But unbeknownst to the Winx, there is another person who has been saving not only the Earth, but the entire universe. His name is: Frank, and he is the one who has been the guardian of the universe for many years now. Having fought against anime characters, giving the sacrifices to the Dark Lord: Chin Chin, and trying to find a cure for the accursed mixtape virus, Frank has done and seen it all. Some might call him a sociopathic bastard, others might call him a disgusting person and a disgrace to the human race. But to many he is like a father figure. Papa Franku. The man with a will of steel.

The Winx had just returned from a day of shopping in Gardenia, and were now enjoying their drinks at the Frutti Music bar. Unbeknownst to them, however, their lives were about to make a drastic change… whether they like it, or not.

* * *

Headmistress Faragonda impatiently paced around her desk. Sweat was dripping down her forehead and she had not gotten any sleep. It was too bright outside. Suddenly the door to her office opened. She turned her head to look at the opened door and let out a sigh of relief.

"I see you have arrived. A bit late, but that is to be expected." She said to the figure that stood in the doorframe.

"Yeah, fucking immigrants always blocking my way. I already filled in a bunch of complaint letters, but those faggots won't reply." The figure replied, shrugging as he entered the office.

"Thank you for coming on such a short notice," Faragonda said, smiling at the figure as she motioned for him to take a seat at her desk.

The man nodded as he took a seat at her office. "So what's the problem? Dildo stuck in that pussy?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Frank, please try to control yourself," Faragonda scolded him, glaring at him with a stern gaze. "You should keep such language to yourself. You have helped me in the past, and I've helped you too. But now it seems I need to ask you another favor, and I am once again in your debt after you complete it."

"What do you need this time? You know Chin Chin will arrive soon, right?" Frank asked, raising an eyebrow as her as he crossed his arms. "How are those chicks doing? You know, the one with the weird club name?"

"You mean the Winx?" Faragonda asked.

"Hey, as long as it's got an X in it, I'm all in," Frank replied, chuckling to himself. "But seriously, what is it that you need me to do?" he asked.

"I need you to travel to Gardenia and keep an eye on the Winx. You see, even though they defeated Tritanus I fear that the Trix might be up to something. They have fought the Winx many times before, but they have not faced off against you… yet. I want you to protect the girls at any cost." Faragonda replied, crossing her arms. "Think you can manage that?"

"Sure thing sugartits," Frank replied, nodding his head. "But can't they take care of themselves?"

"They need their rest, Frank," Faragonda replied, shaking her head. "They have already been through enough."

"Well then," Frank said as he stood up and stretched his back. "Get me a house in Gardenia, a ride to Gardenia and some fresh pussy and I'll be on my way!"

"The two things I can manage," Faragonda said as she clapped her hands together as a green aura suddenly covered Frank's body. Within seconds Frank disappeared, leaving nothing but Faragonda in her room.

"What an idiot," Faragonda sighed, rubbing her temples. "But he's got a heart of gold, even though it is hidden very deep."

* * *

"Aw, shit!" Frank exclaimed as he was thrown into a wall. Pushing himself off said wall, he turned around. "Now, let's see," he said, tapping his chin. "I need to find the Winx so I can spy on them. and of course," he grinned to himself. "Get some pussy."

"Hey b0ss," a voice suddenly said from behind Frank.

Frank turned around. Thank god they were on the beach and no one was around. "Pink guy," Frank said, getting Pink Guy's attention. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Gibe de pussy b0ss, please," Pink Guy replied.

"You followed me?" Frank repeated, smacking his forehead when Pink Guy nodded his head. "God fucking damnit Pink Guy! Okay, who else followed me here?!"

Suddenly four other beings emerged from the sands, their shadows looming over Frank as they looked at him.

"Okay," Frank said, sighing as he looked at the four beings. "So we have Salamander Man, Santa's Brother, Dr. Trill and… holy shit, Chin Chin what the fuck are you doing here, on Earth?!"

"Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo!" Chin Chin replied.

"You are here because you want sacrifices?" Frank asked.

Chin Chin nodded. "Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo… ochinchin." He replied.

"Listen," Frank said, calming the Dark Lord down. "You'll get your sacrifices. Remember all those years ago when we helped those stupid fairies? Well, now we have to help other—and hotter, might I add—fairies. We have to protect them from evil witches and shit."

"Nyess," Salamander Man said, rubbing his nipples as he rolled his eyes. "Nyess?"

"No Salamander Man, we need to find them first. Listen, you guys cannot be seen here. Your presence might scare everyone to death. You can stay hidden, and I will call you when I need you."

"Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo!" Chin Chin said.

"After we defeat the witches, you can get them a sacrifice." Frank replied.

"Yeah girl shake that pussy, girl." Santa's Son said, wiggling his package around in his tight underwear.

"Crap, someone's coming! Disappear now!" Frank ordered.

"Everyone nodded their heads and within seconds they were gone. Frank let out a sigh of relief as he looked at six girls who were headed this way. They all looked very hot and for some reason he wanted to say hi. But he chose not to, because he'd probably say something stupid.

"Bloom, not so fast!" one of the girls said to an orange haired girl.

Frank felt sweat drip down his forehead as the girls walked passed him, each one of them staring at him in confusion. One of the girls came to a halt when she laid eyes upon him.

"Oh my goodness," she exclaimed. "That shirt doesn't match you jeans at all."

"Well," Frank replied, stuttering in a sarcastic way. "Those tits don't match your face, but you don't hear me complaining now do you?" he asked.

The girl looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"Fuck this!" Frank exclaimed, turning around to walk away from them.

Unbeknownst to our here, he had just walked away from the girls he was supposed to protect.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank casually walked through the streets of Gardenia, ignoring as many people as he could. He didn't care about others, nor did they care about him. The world is a cruel place, like an endless cycle of life and death. Eventually everyone you love will die, and you will no longer be able to see the light Darkness will consume you. That is why humans are weak. We waste our lives with ideals and goals, while the true goal of life is to die. Everyone will eventually die and fall into a fit of despair and misery-.

"Hey b0ss,"

Frank turned his head, his eyes widening when he saw Pink Guy stand beside him.

"Pink Guy, what the fuck are you doing here?" Frank asked, earning some glares from several people who walked passed him, probably due to his foul language. "I thought I told you to stay the fuck hidden."

"Well, dad," said a voice from behind.

Frank turned his head, sighing as Dr. Trill walked towards him. "Dr. Trill, how can I help you this fine afternoon?" Frank asked.

"I never loved you, dad!" Dr. Trill shouted at him. Regaining his composure, the Lycra continued. "Listen, I know that life has been hard for you. But this is an intervention, and you are being way too loud!"

"I'm just talking! What more do you want me to do?" Frank retorted.

"I never loved you, dad!" Dr. Trill replied. "Also, we need to find those fucking fairies so that old hag will be in our debt again. You know as well as I do that you are cheeky bastard who would love nothing more than blackmailing other people."

"That's so… true, actually," Frank commented. "I wish Maxy-boy and IdubbbzTV were here, they could have really helped me out." He sighed.

"Don't worry," Dr. Trill said, walking past Frank. "Let's just go and find those fucking fairies."

Frank nodded, while Pink Guy and Dr. Trill disappeared into thin air once more. Continuing his walk through Gardenia, Frank eventually reached a park. Sitting down on a nearby bench, he looked at his blouse and reached into it. He grabbed some ravioli from his blouse and started eating it, he let out a few high-pitched moans and screams of pleasure as he ate the ravioli. He suddenly saw a familiar looking girl walk into the park. He watched as she walked passed him, not even noticing him.

Frank wiped the ravioli of his mouth and got up. This was one of the fairies. Flora, he believed she was called. Like a true gentleman, he first looked to the left, and then to the right… well I'll be damned, that's some good posture. He walked passed Flora, eyeing her curiously.

"Can I help you, sir?" Flora asked him politely.

"Well, there is an eternal struggle within my soul that I bothering me. My erectile dysfunction is causing me seizures and I have not gotten laid ever since Donald Trump build the wall. So, no, you can't help me, sugartits." Frank replied.

"Uhm… I have no idea what you just said, but I am sure i can do something." Flora replied.

"Nah, I don't think you can. I mean Pink Guy over here doesn't even know how to fucking talk and he has a better life than me." Frank said, pointing a finger at Pink Guy, who had appeared behind him and was having a serious seizure.

"Can I habe de pusi please?" Pink Guy shouted, rolling over the ground while Flora just looked at him in confusion.

"Is he all right?" Flora asked, turning to Frank.

"I stopped caring a long, long time ago," Frank replied, shrugging. "Okay Pink Guy, that's enough," Frank said, bending over to try and calm the Lycra down.

"Maybe I can use my magic to-."

Flora was cut off when a beam of ice shot right at her. Jumping to the side, she glared her eyes at who the ice beam belonged to.

"Icy!" Flora shouted.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Icy asked, looking at Flora. "A fairy, a human, and… I have absolutely no idea what that is supposed to be." She said, pointing a finger in disgust at Pink Guy.

"Hey!" Frank said, glaring at Icy. "You better watch that mouth of yours! I have a belt and I am not afraid to hang myself!"

Ice blinked a couple of times, before chuckling. "Too bad Darcy and Stormy aren't here to see this. I'm sure I will be able to take out a fairy, especially a fairy of nature."

At hearing this, Frank turned to Flora. "You're a fairy of nature?" he asked, smiling widely when Flora nodded her head. "Oh my god, then I can smoke whatever kush I want!"

"Kush?" Flora asked in confusion.

"Yeah, weed, dope, the devil's fruit, you know, kush?" Frank replied.

Icy gritted her teeth in annoyance as she shot an ice beam at Flora, freezing her from the waste. "Will you two shut up and listen!"

Frank, angered at her act, turned to Icy, accompanied by Pink Guy, who had stopped his seizure to join his friend in this epic battle of the ages.

"You don fucked up, you kool-aid bitch!" Frank shouted.

"Oh, really?" icy smirked. "And what are YOU going to do about it?" she asked.

"I'm not going to do anything," Frank smirked. "But I know someone else who might want to have a talk to you."

Icy raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. "And who might that be?"

Frank inhaled deeply, before speaking up. Chin Chin, my dark lord. Chin Chin, my unquestioned creator. Oh, how I praise you, Chin Chin. I slit the throats of my parents, I shall slit the throats of my whole family. I shall cleanse myself from this family filth. I don't need any bonds when I have you. From realm to realm. From city to city. You shall pass and conquer. Chin Chin is our lord," he said, glaring at Icy as she suddenly felt an immense source of power appear out of nowhere.

"Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo!"

Suddenly he appeared. The Dark Lord. Chin Chin, our lord and savior.

"What… is that?" Icy asked, looking at Chin Chin in confusion.

"That would be the Dark Lord, bitch!" Frank shouted. "Chin Chin, kill the bitch!"

"Ore wa ochinchin ga daisuki nandayo!"

And with that the epic battle started.


End file.
